How To Build a Therapeutic Alliance

Help the client feel more welcome.

Consider specific steps that might make therapy more welcoming for the client. Is the room too cold? Would a white noise machine help the client feel less anxious about privacy? Is your body language standoffish? Tailor the structure of each therapy session, as well as the room itself, to the needs of your client.

Know that relationships take time.

The therapeutic alliance is a relationship, and ideally a close and trusting one. Relationships take time to build. Your first few sessions may be fairly surface-oriented, built on small talk and only occasional disclosures. Your investment in these early interactions is an investment in the trust that will ultimately help a client open up. The therapeutic bond can be strengthened by being authentic within the room, by sharing genuine reactions to the client’s story. A constantly neutral presence in the room can only increase the therapeutic alliance and will help in closing the gap to allow the client in feeling heard.

Never judge the client.

It’s nearly impossible to go through life without judging people. Judgment, however, is therapy’s death knell. While all therapists strive to be non-judgmental, clients can pick up on the slightest hint of judgment. Avoid giving advice that might feel like a condemnation or giving insight that is outside your scope of practice. For example, therapists should not generally give religious or medical advice. If you feel yourself judging the client, the client may feel it, too. So work to keep your own feelings in check.

Manage your own emotions.

When a client won’t open up, therapists may feel anxious before therapy. This can erode trust. Commit to managing your own emotions. Meditation, validation exercises, and planning ahead for each session can prevent your emotions from intruding on the session.

Talk about what the client wants from therapy.

The client’s goals for therapy might be very different from what you assume they are or think they should be. Talk to the client about what they hope to get from therapy. Then use these goals as guideposts. When the client clams up, explain to them how discussing a particular topic can help them achieve their goals.

Being a therapist can be so rewarding, watching a client grow is a wonderful thing to see, Regardless of what model you have been trained in, being yourself and being genuine is the most important thing, this is the start of becoming the best therapist you can be. Following these points of course won’t make you a better therapist, but they are points that I have always thought of and kept in mind while in practice.