What A Therapist Should Not Do

Therapists Should Not Just Give Advice

Clients often seek support when they need to make difficult decisions related to relationships, health, work, finances, or personal risks. They may turn to the therapist for a precise direction. They may trust that the professional “knows what to do.” Although it may be the clichéd misconception, this therapeutic process isn’t about advice. It isn’t about therapists telling clients what they should or should not do. Instead, therapy is about exploration. That may entail processing the risks and benefits of particular patterns or choices. It may include goals related to increasing decisiveness and harnessing a sense of personal autonomy. Therapy isn’t about the therapist telling clients what they should or shouldn’t do. If a therapist rescues the client every time, the client does not grow. Likewise, clients become dependent on someone else telling them what to do.

Instead, therapy is about exploring the risks and benefits of particular choices. It’s about harnessing personal autonomy and increasing decisiveness. Contrary to popular belief, therapists do not necessarily know what’s best for their client. Most therapists believe, in fact, that clients are the experts of their own lives. In their work, they aim to foster their client’s confidence in utilizing their expertise.

Ideally, therapists offer a warm and non-judgmental space to act as both their client’s cheerleader and soundboard. They don’t just provide generic advice, and they don’t act as if they know what’s best for the client.

Therapists Should Not Just Agree With Everything

There is no doubt that support, compassion, and empathy are critical tenets of effective therapy. Most people enter treatment because they want someone who can listen to them without judgment or rejection. Even when clients have a helpful support system, they often find that loved ones may have biases or opinions that interfere with listening. Therapists generally maintain objectivity and neutrality. They attune to their client’s needs, but they don’t play a passive role to them. Instead, they strive to strike the significant balance between providing comfort and nurturing with healthy assertiveness and confrontation.

Let’s say a client continues to arrive at sessions every week complaining of depression. He’s struggled with depression for many years, and he reports that he has never felt much of an improvement. He and his therapist have discussed several solutions, such as consulting with a doctor for possibly going down a medicated route, building his support system, practicing meditation, and starting to exercise, for improving his mood. Each time the therapist offers a suggestion to combat his depression, the client responds with an excuse as to why that option won’t work. He continues to engage in the same negative thinking, and he does not make any changes to his daily routine. Yet, he continues to show up faithfully to therapy every week.

If the therapist only continues to sympathize and empathize with this client’s depression, the individual has little chance for improvement. In many ways, the therapist provides a disservice, and they essentially enable that lack of change.

Instead, therapists must recognize problematic behaviour, ineffective patterns, and resistance. Likewise, to help foster growth, they must be willing to address these observations for the benefit of the client.

Therapists Should Not Work Outside Of Their level of Competency

Therapists should work within their competency level. While specific guidelines related to this vary, the level of competency typically includes.

• Providing therapy for individuals, families, couples, and groups
• Providing social development
• Consult with other professionals related to client care
• Conduct and develop plans intended to address problematic behaviours

It’s not unusual for therapists to have education or training in other fields. However, they must refrain from offering advice or guidance on other topics. As a client’s therapist, they must only act in the role of a therapist. Working inside of level ensures professionalism and boundaries.

Therapists Should Not Shame or Judge Clients

Therapy should feel like an inclusive and safe place for clients. Clients need to feel safe and supported in their work. And while all therapists have inherent biases and personal preferences, it is never appropriate for them to engage in discrimination, racism, sexism, or other forms of prejudice with clients.

Clients may shame or judge themselves or others in sessions. Therapists seek to offer support and compassion when this occurs. They also seek to provide reasonable strategies for reframing or changing these thoughts and patterns.

That’s not to say therapists may not offend clients from time to time. The truth can be painful, and it’s normal to resist confrontation. Sometimes, therapy can feel worse before it feels better. However, clients should feel safe and encouraged to share their thoughts about their therapy to their therapist.

Final Thoughts On The Therapeutic Relationship

Therapy is often a profound experience for clients seeking to improve their lives. It’s an opportunity for clients to exclusively focus on their own needs, dreams, and goals. It’s also a safe place to feel supported and encouraged by a mental health professional.

That said, if something feels wrong, it probably is wrong. If something feels like it’s being neglected or overlooked, it could be a sign of a red flag. Clients always have the right to terminate their therapy at any time and for any reason. If a situation starts to feel uncomfortable or unsafe, it’s within their absolute right to discuss their feelings or end the relationship altogether. A good therapist can help you improve your mental health.