Building Trust In Therapy

Ask more or different questions.

Asking a single question or two may not be enough to get a client to open up. Sometimes you may need to ask more questions, different questions, or present the same question in a different way when building trust in therapy. Ideally, your questions should feel like an interview by an interested person, not an interrogation. Respond warmly and empathically, and follow the client’s lead. Stoic silence when the client laughs or a light-hearted approach to something the client takes seriously can make them clam up.

Don’t make the client feel rejected.

People seeking therapy are vulnerable, both because they may struggle with mental health issues and because they are sharing their most intimate thoughts and experiences. Make the client feel interested and heard. Don’t trigger feelings of rejection by daydreaming, shutting down their ideas, or dismissing their values.

Refer to another therapist.

If you feel ill-equipped to help the client, are not an expert in their specific challenges, or foresee a serious personality mismatch, refer the client to another therapist whom you believe might be a better match. Don’t just make a blind referral. Spend time seeking out a therapist who is equipped to support this specific client. Then make sure the client knows the referral is an admission of your own shortcomings, not a condemnation of the client.

Plan questions ahead of time.

Good therapy doesn’t just happen. It demands planning, research, and diligence. Plan your conversation with your client ahead of time, and jot down some questions. This ensures therapy follows a productive path. If you’re struggling, consider seeking insight on your plans for therapy from a supervisor or other trusted advisor.

Focus on the client’s needs.

Therapists are human beings with their own emotional baggage, just like their clients. It’s easy to feel rejected or judged by a client who does not talk. Remember therapy is for the client, and the only needs that matter are the client’s needs. Don’t make the client feel like they’re harming you. Talking with another therapist or a supervisor can help you sort through your own emotions about a client who doesn’t want to open up.

Therapy demands a lot from therapists. Compassionately serving clients isn’t always easy, especially when you’re not sure why a client won’t open up. It is always recommended that you obtain as much training as possible and that gaining this from as wide a range of resources as possible, that can help you build and strengthen your skills as a therapist.